Updated: Aug 20, 2019
On July 20, 2019 we will be married for 6 years. We embarked on this journey for better or worse committing our lives to one another vowing to tackle every obstacle as a team.
Marriage is work. Anyone telling you that it's blissful all the time is a liar, 🤣but if you commit yourself to someone you are bound to work through the kinks and overcome the trials and tribulations to make it last. Sometimes that's enough. Other times it isn't. Do not make the mistake of comparing your union to that of your friends and family, because no two unions are the same, although there will be similarities. You have no idea what the lives of others are like behind the status updates and picture posts on social media. People pretend, so focus on what works best for you, and try not to worry about being judged.
When we started Che Butter Jonez last year our marriage wasn't perfect, but we were in a good place. We understood the risk we were taking in starting a business together and we were ready to take the food truck world by storm. They weren't ready for us! We were ready to shake shit up!
We anticipated this being a family business, but realized we couldn't put that kind of pressure on our children. Having only two people running this business meant that we ate, slept, and lived CHE BUTTER JONEZ. For starters, this is NOT a two-person business. The pressure was overwhelming.
It totally consumed our lives, but we convinced ourselves that this was normal, because it was a new business and would require all of our time and attention. The pressure started to create cracks in our marriage. We were working long hours, and not nurturing ourselves or our union. That was a HUGE mistake. Once we recognized what WE were doing to our union, WE needed to work our way back to that good place we started from. It was and remains a daily process, and why I was encouraged to share my thoughts on some things to consider when going into business with your spouse.
So here are a few suggestions:
1. Make time for your marriage outside of the business. Date nights are essential. Don't lose the LOVE for the sake of the business.
2. Have "ME" time. Both of you will need this, because 24 hours of anything is too much. If you're with your spouse all the time, how in the hell will you miss them?
3. Stay on top of your finances together. This way no one person can blame the other for financial decisions made that will affect the family/business as a whole. If you realize there is a gap, collectively discuss how to fill it. Letting one spouse carry the load of these decisions will be detrimental to your marriage. WORK TOGETHER!
4. Lean on each other for strength. Reinforce sustainability with one another. There will be days when one spouse will want to quit or no longer believes in the business. You have to communicate how to navigate this storm, even if it means that one spouse will no longer be involved in the business. Talk through what works best for both the marriage and the business, but don't allow difficulties of the business to ruin your marriage. Talk it out!
5. Finally, know that success doesn't happen overnight. Even in those instances where it seems like people have immediate success. As an outsider you have no idea how long they have been powering through to achieve their current greatness. Stop making assumptions, and stop measuring your success by the success of others. What's for you, is for you!
I was recently asked by a friend if she should go into business with her spouse. He wants to, but she isn't absolutely sure. My immediate response was NO🤣🤣...but I quickly revised my statement. I advised her that as long as they discuss the expected roles and responsibilities of each other for the business before starting the business, they should be just fine. It doesn't have to be hard, so don't make it harder than it has to be!
Shout-out to all the married business owners who are making it work and work beautifully! We see you! ❤💋